Today, for some reason, I was pushed toward my spiritual side. I often ignore this side of my life. Figure it is part of me and I don't need to worry about it I guess. But, sometimes, I need to nourish it, I need to touch it and become renewed in my beliefs and in my spiritual center. Not sure what triggered this need in me today, not really any earth shattering events or anything. But, I happened to listen to a sermon from the church I belonged to - a MCC church. I am glad I went there cause it gave me the chance to be still and listen.
Last September, a friend asked me why I no longer attended this church. I told her the story about how it met so many of my needs when I attended but as time went on, I realized more and more how our beliefs differed. It is hard for me to rationally articulate the differences but, within my own mind, I came to a place where I was at complete peace and harmony with my spirituality. For me, it is a hybrid of sorts. Without going into my specific beliefs here, I will just say that while I am secure in what I believe, it is hard to keep the center of ones spiritual universe when they go it alone. But, fortunately, I can find some things in life to keep getting me re-centered. Such was the case today, when I listened to Jeff Miner's sermon.
The message was on what faith is and the lesson to learn from being "disappointed when putting complete faith in God". We have all been disappointed in faith. I remember praying for my mom to have a miracle recovery when she was diagnosed with cancer, only to watch her suffer through the disease for a brief period and, ultimately, succumb to it. I remember asking God to let my kitty die in her sleep so I wouldn't have to make the decision to put her down, only to have to face that decision and make it the next week. So how does one have faith when prayers like that go unanswered?
It is challenging to be sure. In his sermon, Jeff makes reference to a couple of Biblical passages in order to drive his point home about faith being a trust in God that teaches us we may not get what we want from God - but that we will get the faith needed to endure. As he said, we get what we need versus what we want. (Insert Rolling Stones reference here - LOL) But, in listening to his sermon, I didn't get the reinforcement and the insights from his Bible passages. No, what hit home for me was his reference to his cat named Chrissy and the lesson of trust gleaned from her life and love for her daddy - Jeff.
When I heard that reference, my spirituality rose up in my heart. I remembered so much of what I believe and what I know to be my unique spiritual side. It felt good to be refreshed and renewed in it. It seems to me that there are two paths to take in life - one without any daily active spiritual focus or one where we accept things in life as part of the grand universal scheme and become comfortable with our place within it all. For me, I have to take the road that has a spiritual side, because otherwise it doesn't seem to have meaning.
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